They came in droves.
On Valentine鈥檚 Day 2023, Paul Knoepfler, a stem cell researcher who criticizes pseudoscience in his field, published听听of the LifeWave X39 patch. Eight months later, he closed the comment section on his post. People were flocking to it, sharing their story of how the patch had pulled them out of a tough, well, patch. Besides, wasn鈥檛 it approved by the FDA and didn鈥檛 the CEO of the company hold over 150 patents? How could Knoepfler, a scientist, not recommend this product? Had he even听tried it?
LifeWave鈥檚 patches are small, round, adhesive discs you stick to specific parts of your body, and they are supposed to鈥� well, here鈥檚 the problem. The official website is surprisingly vague on the matter of health claims. Its听听is 鈥減atch up, wear your product, share your experience.鈥� It鈥檚 an invitation to let your imagination run wild, and it really doesn鈥檛 matter what鈥檚 inside these patches or what studies show: some people will swear by them the way many swore by magnets and all sorts of ineffective health doodads.
Because the thing about LifeWave鈥檚 patches is that no one can agree on exactly how they鈥檙e supposed to work.
A Vegas breakfast buffet inside each patch
I found 11 studies of LifeWave鈥檚 products, with the earliest dating back to 2005, and what struck me were the conflicted explanations of how the famed patch was supposed to work, akin to the parable of the blind men and the elephant.
Some papers speak of the patches containing听听that make you burn fat faster, like some sort of Ozempic that sits on top of your skin. There鈥檚 a tan patch and a white patch, and they must be kept on opposite sides of the body. 滨苍听, the different colours contain isomers, meaning molecules with the same numbers of the same atoms but in different arrangements; in听听published the same year, the tan patch has glucose while the white patch has glycerin, which are definitely not isomers.
滨苍听, the patches contain homeopathic material, meaning molecules diluted to such an extreme they are often absent from the final solution; in听, they are filled with non-toxic crystals. One听听claims they contain infrared-emitting diode arrays, like little lights to warm up our skin, while many papers only list amino acids, water, oxygen, and 鈥渙rganic substances.鈥� Whatever is inside, the tiny, alleged antennas of the patch are supposed to filter and reflect back at the body its own magnetic field鈥� or energy鈥� or infrared light. The idea that the patches simply reflect back at the body what it is already emitting plays up the appeal to nature, the false idea that if something is natural it is naturally good for us. What is this reflected energy supposed to do inside the body? Here too descriptions differ, from burning fat to increasing the flow of electrons, from stimulating nerves to improving the flow of energy in the acupuncture meridians. Because, of course, I forgot to mention that these patches need to be applied on specific acupuncture points. It doesn鈥檛 matter that听.
In my opinion, this is indistinguishable from the nonsensical smorgasbord we often encounter in the wellness industry: magical notions and scientific concepts are picked and chosen, much like food at a Vegas breakfast buffet, and end up getting digested into a slurry. Here, we see homeopathy and acupuncture mixed in with phototherapy (because of the reflected light, you see) and stem cells (the reason why Knoepfler was writing about these patches, because some people claim they will activate your stem cells). It doesn鈥檛 have to be congruent; it just needs to tap into our desires for old wisdom, natural goodness, and cutting-edge discoveries.
The studies themselves, when they are not financed by LifeWave, do not confirm any rumoured health improvement. A听听on muscle endurance and power in college varsity football players showed essentially no such benefit, while a听听in cross-country runners three years later found no performance-enhancing benefits and one result that actually contradicted the claim made for the patch.
The vast majority of the positive studies were conducted by Melinda Connor and Caitlin Connor, and the papers they produced are of shockingly bad quality. One of them, investigating the potential effect of the patches on the levels of a small peptide in circulation in the blood, literally shows听听in the results section. Their听听features a long list of banal disposables and equipment鈥斺�渇reezer, gloves, band aids, wipes, masks鈥濃�攊n the听abstract, which is supposed to be a quick summary of the study itself, not a comprehensive list of routine consumables that were used. These papers demonstrate that if you scrape the bottom of the academic journal pile, you can get anything published these days.
A couple of these papers end with biographies for the two lead authors, where we learn that听听has a Bachelor鈥檚 degree in political science and anthropology and two graduate degrees in acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, and that she 鈥渢rained in a variety of energy systems, styles, and techniques since she was three,鈥� while听听is a psychologist and Buddhist priest who was taught alternative medicine under the infamous Andrew Weil.
None of the evidence reported in these papers is close to being convincing, and we would need extraordinary data to overcome the lack of plausibility for these patches working in the first place. If the body is emitting some sort of energy, it means the energy was already inside the body. How would shining it back inside of it be beneficial? And how could a tiny patch or two or six, covering a minuscule amount of skin, manage to reflect back so much energy as to cause body-wide improvements? And if these patches can help you burn fat and we鈥檝e known about this since 2005, how did they not steal Ozempic鈥檚 thunder? Let鈥檚 not pretend that there鈥檚 no money in selling these patches compared to the patented Ozempic drug: if LifeWave鈥檚 patches really melted your fat,听everyone听would be raving about them in the media and the product would regularly be out of stock.
Instead, the people raving about them seem to be the ones selling them. Did I mention that LifeWave鈥檚 patches are sold via multilevel marketing?
鈥淩emove all references to scientific studies鈥�
The photos were clearly taken in a hospital. The man, shirtless, has round patches on his chest where medical equipment connects, but he also sports a few LifeWave patches. His daughter-in-law posted听. He鈥檇 been in a motorcycle accident and the pain medication at the hospital wasn鈥檛 enough: hence the LifeWave patches. 鈥淚 truly believe,鈥� she wrote, 鈥渢hey鈥檝e made a huge difference in his recovery and comfort. [鈥 God is soo good! I鈥檓 so thankful that God revealed this technology to David!鈥�
This is how the health claims spread鈥攏ot through the official LifeWave website, where all but two patches are simply said to be 鈥渇or the stimulation of acupuncture points,鈥� but through testimonials elsewhere.
The people selling the product are part of a听听structure, meaning that ordinary, independent salespeople have to buy the products themselves and sell them while recruiting individuals below them on their 鈥渄ownline鈥� to sell the patches as well. (LifeWave provides them with听听of what claims they are legally allowed to make, including the incredible statement that they must 鈥渞emove all references to scientific studies.鈥�) MLMs are notorious for benefitting the people at the very top鈥攖he founders and early adopters, who profit from a large downline鈥攁nd leaving everyone else with debts as they purchase products for which they can鈥檛 find customers. The compensation plan for sellers is typically labyrinthine, and this confusion can help participants hold on to the dream of a lavish lifestyle.
The founder and chairman of the board of LifeWave is David Schmidt, who is claimed to have听, including over 70 in the field of regenerative science and technology. We should remind ourselves that filing a patent does not imply your invention works. Patent offices worldwide are filled with applications for things that have never seen the light of day. Schmidt is also said to have received an honorary doctorate from Dr. Alexander Marinaccio of the International Hall of Fame of Inventors. Try as I might, I was unable to find an听International听Hall of Fame of Inventors鈥攖here鈥檚 the听National听one, a company that honours the greatest inventors and whose representative told me over email that they do not award honorary doctorates. Obviously: these awards are typically reserved for universities.
It鈥檚 a user on听听who traced this dubious claim to a late听, U.S. Navy veteran and founder and CEO of the now-dissolved听. Can a nonprofit corporation bestow honorary doctorates? And what worth would they even have? I will let you answer this one for yourself.
As for the claim that LifeWave鈥檚 patches were approved by the FDA as medical devices, the reality is quite different. I was unable to find anything under 鈥淟ifeWave鈥� or 鈥淴39鈥�/鈥漍49鈥� (the two popular patches made by LifeWave) on the听听page of the U.S. FDA. Even if I had, a listing 鈥渄oes not in any way denote approval of the establishment or its products by FDA.鈥� Besides, the FDA has a听听with regards to what it deems to be 鈥渓ow risk general wellness products.鈥� Many such products end up registered with the FDA as 鈥渄isposable hot or cold packs鈥� or something equally mundane, while its users claim health benefits that have never been evaluated by the FDA. Who pays the ultimate price? The retail customer, who is charged听听for a pack of 30 of LifeWave鈥檚 X39 patches. 鈥淧atches may be worn for up to 12 hours before discarding,鈥� the听听instructs us. Imagine the monthly bill.
Products like LifeWave鈥檚 patches are resistant to scrutiny, however. Desperate people will still flock to them in the face of chronic pain or terminal illness, encouraged by emotional testimonials, and some of them will feel an improvement. Why? Because placebo effects are many. Infections naturally end when our immune system wins; chronic symptoms wane and wax over time; patches may get used alongside pharmaceutical drugs and manual interventions like physical therapy; and symptoms like pain and nausea are notoriously subjective and we may subconsciously grade them as a little bit better after paying for something that is supposed to help. That鈥檚 one reason why the anecdotes we read on social media should be taken with a mountain of salt.
The personal reports of LifeWave鈥檚 patches on the Internet are also heavily skewed, I suspect, by the company鈥檚 own听: 鈥淣egative, disparaging, inappropriate, threatening, misleading, or false comments, claims, and remarks about LifeWave, its officers, directors, employees, partners, Brand Partners, products, business elements, or third-party entities (including competitors), by LifeWave Brand Partners and/or Customers at any time, in any manner, and through any medium, is strictly prohibited.鈥�
If you sell or buy them, you鈥檙e not allowed to say anything bad about them.
Does that sound like a legitimate health product to you?
Take-home message:
- LifeWave patches are small, round patches that stick to the skin and that are being sold through multilevel marketing
- Sources, including scientific papers, don鈥檛 agree on exactly what is inside these patches or how they are supposed to work to cause all sorts of vague health benefits
- Published studies tend to be very bad in quality, and the lack of plausibility strongly suggests that when these patches are thought to work, it is because of placebo effects
